Random tormented me all day at work yesterday with a Jack in the Box mini-churro, which he named Bella. All day he crooned to his little churro about how delicate yet delicious she was. It went something like this.

Random: Bella, I love you. How will I ever resist the urge to eat you? You smell too good.

Churro-Bella: (silence)

Me: Ha. Ha. Very funny, Random.

…Time passes…

Random: You are so fragile, Bella. I could so easily crush you with my superhero strength.

Churro-Bella: (silence)

Me: Churro would be a funny nickname for Edward to give Bella.

…Time passes…slowly…

Random: Bella your friends have all been so tasty. I’m sure you will be even tastier. But no! I can’t!

Churro-Bella: (thoughts still a mystery)

Me: You’re eating others? You’re cheating on Churro-Bella?

Random: It’s just good business. You don’t put all your eggs in one basket.

Me: You said you loved her! It’s not business!

Random: It’s business of the heart. Besides, I’m eating her competition.

Me: It’s Bella! There is no competition!

Random: Nom. Nom. Nom.

Churro-Bella: (giving Random the cold shoulder)

…Is it break time yet?…

Random: Bella, I don’t know how much longer I can hold out. Will I be able to save you until tomorrow? —

Me: I’m off tomorrow.

Random: Will I be able to save you until Thursday? Shall I build a house for you? (writes ‘Bella’ on the side of the mini-churro box)

Me: (points out how I’ve written GAZA on the divider between our desks)

Churro-Bella: (lounging in her knew crib)

…Will this day ever end?…

Random: Bella, I adore you. Shall I watch over you as you sleep?

Me: Good god! Haven’t you finished those damn churros yet? It’s been all day! How many come in a box?

Random: Ten. And I’m finished now. Nom. Nom. Nom. It’s just me and Bella now.

Me: Aww. I’m happy for you both.

Random: I think we can be happy together.

Me: I expect that churro to still be there Thursday.

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